I can’t pretend anymore.
Someone treats you less than you deserve. You let it slide. Again. As expected. What hurts more? To watch them live their lives, seemingly unaffected by what they’ve done to you? Or does it hurt more to smile, pretend you’re perfectly normal like nothing ever happened?
Consequences of their actions affects you more than they can possibly imagine.
You feel as if you’re constantly falling, but you’re wide awake. You feel like you’re trapped in a frozen lake; you cannot move, you’re struggling to breathe, you’re fighting the water and screaming your lungs out but no one hears you.
Sometimes their actions make me doubt myself. Do I deserve to be loved? Do I deserve to be held? Do I deserve to hear the truth? Am I worth knowing at all? Unwanted, alone and forgotten. I can easily be replaced, without a moment’s hesitation. As I’ve recently experienced.
Maybe some of us are destined to live out our days alone. Sometimes I question whether I’m enough. How can I possibly be enough for someone if I’m not enough, for me?
If I was to stand on a bridge, ready to jump, who would come? What would they say?
No one would probably notice I was even gone. I am invisible, after all. Always have been and probably always will.
Being yourself is not good enough. Being someone different to fit in, is not good enough. Modifying yourself to be defined as normal by society’s standards is still not good enough. What else is there? Who the hell are we meant to be?
a quote by Lucas Scott, from One Tree Hill (4x01: The Same Deep Water as You)
a quote by Meredith Grey, from Grey’s Anatomy (1x02: The First Cut Is The Deepest)
quote by Sayuri Nitta (Chiyo), from the film Memoirs of a Geisha
i absolutely adore this. so much emotion in this, that i can’t even…Wow, just wow.
This is personal. I am, but just a shell of my own being.
